An AbsencePosted: June 22, 2012
Hello to all my sweet readers.
We have had a tragic week in our family, and that is why I have been absent. Last Saturday, about 30 minutes before a family birthday/father’s day celebration, my husband’s mom, Kay, had (what we assume) was a heart attack.
My girls had spent the night at her house Friday night, and were with her, preparing for the party. A few hours before, she had been at work (she was a librarian for 31 years at the same small town library), and said her mouth began to burn, she felt nauseated, and had a headache, so she left early to go home and lay down. She wasn’t the type to take a sick day, so my 12 year old daughter was concerned. We told her that she was probably all right, not to worry.
My girls said that Kay took a nap for about thirty minutes, and then woke up, saying she felt much better. While my youngest daughter sat outside on their porch swing, my 12 year old, Kay, and my father-in-law sat watching TV. After a joking “argument “with my father-in-law, Kay gasped so hard that it knocked out her dentures. It frightened my daughter, and she went over to her to see what was wrong. My father-in-law thought she was joking. Kay took a couple of other labored breaths, and slumped over. My 12 year old had the presence of mind to take her pulse, both at her wrist, and in her neck…and couldn’t feel anything. She then immediately called 911. EMT’s arrived one minute later, and administered CPR to no avail. My youngest daughter had rushed in the house when the EMT’s arrived, and my 12 year old took her into another room, where she could not see the events going on. The EMT’s asked my 12 year old many questions, some which she could answer, some she could not….and when they asked her which hospital to take her to….she told them St. Francis. She made this decision based on the fact that Kay kept a water mug with her at all times, and it had the name of that hospital on it.
My poor daughter called twice in the midst of this, sobbing, and I couldn’t understand what she was saying. Eventually, I could make out enough to know something was wrong, but not the extent. I sent my husband quickly to their house (15 miles away), and he passed the ambulance going the other way. I called the rest of the family, on the way to the party, and sent them toward the hospital. Sadly, by the time I reached the hospital myself……they had been told she was gone.
Ever since then, nothing has been the same. My kids are dealing with it the best they can, I am trying to help them, and my husband through. We’ve made it through the visitation where literally HUNDREDS of people came, standing in line for hours, to pay respects to a lovely woman who never knew a stranger, and would help anyone. We made it through the packed funeral, and burial. Now, we are simply adjusting to our lives without her. My kids, husband, and I saw her at least 4 times a week. She had been my girl’s primary babysitter since they were born. We ate a meal each Sunday with her, and the girls attended church with her. The girls also spent a whole day out every Friday in the summer, enjoying a meal, a movie, or time at the zoo or a museum, and some shopping. Really, our lives are going to be enormously different.
So, I guess that recap (which feels so good to put into words) tells you why I have not been crafting. Just today, I’ve begun to pick things up again……because I NEED to. I need to create to keep my mind healthy and strong for my husband and kids.
I will be along soon, to meet my new followers on their blogs, and to see how all of you lovely readers are doing. I apologize if I am distant for a while. I’m sure you will understand.
Give a big hug to someone you love today. Tell them how you appreciate and need them. It may be the last chance you have to do that.
In Memory of Kay Elaine Lassiter
April 4th, 1940- June 16th, 2012