An Absence

Hello to all my sweet readers.

We have had a tragic week in our family, and that is why I have been absent. Last Saturday, about 30 minutes before a family birthday/father’s day celebration, my husband’s mom, Kay, had (what we assume) was a heart attack.

My girls had spent the night at her house Friday night, and were with her, preparing for the party. A few hours before, she had been at work (she was a librarian for 31 years at the same small town library), and said her mouth began to burn, she felt nauseated, and had a headache, so she left early to go home and lay down. She wasn’t the type to take a sick day, so my 12 year old daughter was concerned. We told her that she was probably all right, not to worry.

My girls said that Kay took a nap for about thirty minutes, and then woke up, saying she felt much better. While my youngest daughter sat outside on their porch swing, my 12 year old, Kay, and my father-in-law sat watching TV. After a joking “argument “with my father-in-law, Kay gasped so hard that it knocked out her dentures. It frightened my daughter, and she went over to her to see what was wrong. My father-in-law thought she was joking. Kay took a couple of other labored breaths, and slumped over. My 12 year old had the presence of mind to take her pulse, both at her wrist, and in her neck…and couldn’t feel anything. She then immediately called 911.  EMT’s arrived one minute later, and administered CPR to no avail. My youngest daughter had rushed in the house when the EMT’s arrived, and my 12 year old took her into another room, where she could not see the events going on.  The EMT’s asked my 12 year old many questions, some which she could answer, some she could not….and when they asked her which hospital to take her to….she told them St. Francis. She made this decision based on the fact that Kay kept a water mug with her at all times, and it had the name of that hospital on it.

My poor daughter called twice in the midst of this, sobbing, and I couldn’t understand what she was saying.  Eventually, I could make out enough to know something was wrong, but not the extent. I sent my husband quickly to their house (15 miles away), and he passed the ambulance going the other way. I called the rest of the family, on the way to the party, and sent them toward the hospital. Sadly, by the time I reached the hospital myself……they had been told she was gone.

Ever since then, nothing has been the same. My kids are dealing with it the best they can, I am trying to help them, and my husband through. We’ve made it through the visitation where literally HUNDREDS of people came, standing in line for hours, to pay respects to a lovely woman who never knew a stranger, and would help anyone. We made it through the packed funeral, and burial. Now, we are simply adjusting to our lives without her. My kids, husband, and I saw her at least 4 times a week. She had been my girl’s primary babysitter since they were born. We ate a meal each Sunday with her, and the girls attended church with her.  The girls also spent a whole day out every Friday in the summer, enjoying a meal, a movie, or time at the zoo or a museum, and some shopping. Really, our lives are going to be enormously different.

So, I guess that recap (which feels so good to put into words) tells you why I have not been crafting. Just today, I’ve begun to pick things up again……because I NEED to. I need to create to keep my mind healthy and strong for my husband and kids.

I will be along soon, to meet my new followers on their blogs, and to see how all of you lovely readers are doing. I apologize if I am distant for a while. I’m sure you will understand.

Give a big hug to someone you love today. Tell them how you appreciate and need them. It may be the last chance you have to do that.

In Memory of Kay Elaine Lassiter

April 4th, 1940- June 16th, 2012


10 Comments on “An Absence”

  1. My heart breaks for your family. I will be praying for you in this difficult time. xx

  2. Dara lynn says:

    My prayers are with you during this difficult time… Jesus name..amen.

  3. David Weyhrauch says:

    I am so sorry to read of your tragic week and will pray for God’s guiding hand at this time. I do not suppose you will be ready or eager to sing any Italian opera soon, but let me know when you feel up to it. Best to your whole family, David Weyhrauch

  4. Chipper says:

    Oh Amy, I am so sorry to hear your news. I will pray for comfort and peace for the whole family including your girls, but please take some comfort in knowing that she is now in heaven. Your daughter sounds amazing. Taking charge like she did shows wonderful strength and maturity. You must be so proud of her actions, and to then protect her younger sister makes her one special girl! It sounds like you have one amazing family. I’ll be thinking of you and praying for you all. Chipper xoxox

  5. suzanne says:

    so sorry girl. My heart breaks. You’re absolutely right about hugging the ones you love…..many of us, including myself, are guilty of taking the fragility of life for granted. Many hugs to you mama. May God bring solice and a comforting peace to you and your family.

  6. Beverly Reichart says:


    Thinking about you and the rest of the family. Your creativity will be the best therapy for you now, (also with music – many times the best music comes out of the worst situations). I hope that came out the way I meant it.

  7. Julie says:

    So sad to read this and how traumatic for your girls. All I can say is time heals and hold on to the happy memories. Love always.

  8. Paula says:

    I am so very sorry to hear about your sad news. My thoughts are with you and your family during this difficult time. Lots of love xxx

  9. Hi Amy, I just stopped by to say hello and saw that you lost a loved one. I am so very sorry to hear this sad news. I will keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers, my sweet friend. My heart goes out to you and your family.

  10. Amy, I am so sorry to ready your news……know I am thinking of you and your family….x

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