Messy

Recently, I’ve had several comments about my “messy” style of scrapbooking. At first, I was kind of hurt, to be honest. Then, upon thinking about it a while,  I realized a few things, one of which, is that messy doesn’t mean bad. I know that my style will not be everyone’s cup of tea. It IS messy. It is really different. It is VERY me. This makes me smile. A lot.

When I did my “dare to be different” layout/post back on my birthday in September, I explained that one of the things I like about myself, is that I dare to be different. Back when I was in my “scrapbook style self discovery” stage, for some reason, I thought that my style should be like many scrapper’s….clean, linear, graphic. I really admire clean scrappers. There’s something SO beautiful about simplicity, about clean. Like Nina’s style  or Laura’s style . I love to look at their layouts….so fantastic, so dynamic. But I noticed something about myself when I was trying unsuccessfully to do the clean thing……..I didn’t like to scrap very much. I felt my pages were forced, copied, boring, lame, uninspired. They were seriously lacking in something. I have discovered that something, for me…is layered messiness. Imperfection.

I recently read a post from a fellow blogger, complaining of the lack of authenticity in blogger’s lives. About how many bloggers gloss over their lives, and portray their lives as perfect. Perfect homes, perfect marriages, perfect children. I do like to see authenticity. For bloggers to be honest and real about where they are in their life. It makes me feel better to know that others out there struggle with their weight, with parenting, with emotions and marriage……..and just dealing with daily life. I feel like I can relate to them. It’s kind of like finding a group you fit into in school. I NEVER wanted to hang with the perfect popular girls. They were SOOOOOOO boring to me. I do have to admit, I am a stickler about the cleanliness of my home (and neatness of my garden in the warmer months)…..I like to  keep them as orderly and as free of clutter as possible. I’ve come to understand that part of this need for order, has a name- called OCD; and it is how I deal with anxiety. I won’t get into it in depth, but just know that as clean and orderly as the main floor of my home may be….the closets aren’t too neat, and the drawers are crammed full of crap. It’s pretty much like my mind. I look like an orderly gal…….but my mind is really a mess, with things spilling out of the proverbial drawers.

When I create, I make a huge mess. Stuff is everywhere. My muscles begin to unwind, I feel “in the zone”, I feel happy, free, fulfilled. I add layer upon layer, not stopping until *I*decide it is complete. It helps me to have a momentary sense of control. Modeling paste, gesso, paint, glitter, mist, patterned paper, embellishments. As I add stuff, it is not perfect, and I’m okay with that. The interesting thing is, that I’m usually not okay with imperfection. When I was 24/7 studying voice, I would practice until things were perfect. I was so (and still am) critical of imperfections in classical singers. But my style of creating gets pretty crazy looking sometimes. I think the best part of it is, I am able to convey my heart. I’ve only been able to do this when singing in the past….and I hadn’t been able to even then, for a while. I’m staying sane by creating.

I hope you are having a beautiful weekend. Thanks for putting up with my ramblings, and my experimental tags. I was just messing around with new inks, paints, and stamps. 🙂 It was messy, and fantastic….but didn’t last nearly long enough.
~ Blessings

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6 Comments on “Messy”

  1. Kerry says:

    You do ‘messy’ very well. It definitely works.

    A year or so ago I was in a bored with it all state of mind. I was kind of inspired by the clean linear look but I was never satisfied with what I created. Discovering mists was the big turning point for me and I’ve never looked back. I am still inspired by clean and linear but it must now have a messy element.

    I wish I could be clutter free. I need to make an effort to put stuff away more instead of having a day when I just can’t abide to see it anymore so then make myself sort it out. I wish it was second nature.

  2. Dara Lynn says:

    I think you have a long lost twin sister in Oklahoma! When reading your post… I was yep…that’s me….yep me again….down to the ocd and closets and drawers…thnak you for being you!

  3. Chipper says:

    Everyone has to have a bit of ‘mess’ in their lives 😀 I love that butterfly twill in the last tag!

  4. misty says:

    I love reading your posts as much as I love seeing your projects! You are such a beautiful person inside and out and I just know that we would be good friends (outside of the cyber world) if we lived near each other. I used to be offended in the beginning when people used the word “artsy” for my pages. I felt like it was a adjective they would use because they didn’t know how to describe me. Now I kind of get it, and I don’t mind. Like you, I know I have a unique style and I try to stay true to that style sticking with my own brand!

    I have to let you know btw that the first time I saw your work I literally ached inside wishing that I could create like you (how dramatic and lame is that)…because your work is unlike anything I had seen before! Your an awesome artist!

  5. Sharon says:

    To me, you have the most fabulous style of scrapping, and I wouldn’t call it messy – I’d call it ARTISTIC!!!!!!! I love, LOVE your tags – they are so cool and creative!

  6. jsquared says:

    Oh it wasn’t me who used ‘messy’ was it? This is so interesting reading this, ‘cos I am part way through a post where I’ve tried distressed and grunge – I can’t quite do it because I naturally do the clean straight lines. It’s my house that’s messy not my scrapbook pages – it currently looks like a bomb’s dropped. When I come home the only way I know I’ve not been burgled is because the TV and computer are still here LOL.


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